he’s gone…

He’s gone…Where to? a unknown world neither one of us knows of, but only the extinct and diseased, a world maybe where there’s no more pain, no more heart break, no more abuse, no more rape, no more murders, maybe a place where there is only happiness, love and peace within every living being.

Daddy hadn’t been feeling too well for what seemed like a few weeks, and me at the age of 12 years did think much of it. Daddy and I still played computer games together and watched movies, he laughed and so did I, nothing out of the norm.

It was during the week, a fantastic day had past, coming home from aftercare at school, my friend took me home. As we pulled up onto the drive way I saw my mom which was unusual, daddy and her had divorced and she never really came over so seeing her really played on my mind till she spoke to me. Curious me asked what was going on and she had told me daddy is a little sick and has been rushed to hospital.

The thoughts that rushed into my mind were bizarre, I couldn’t bare to think that my daddy might be gone, so I just kept positive thoughts and told myself day after day after..each single day that he’s going to get better soon!! I went to visit him. When I saw him his tanned face had vanished, looking like the colour of the inside of my school books, white. It had seemed as if he had ran a marathon, out of energy.

Days went by and nothing happened, he was still in hospital, it had been two weeks now and no result. My mind at school and anywhere I went was in another dimension, another planet, any other planet but in the one I was standing in. Nothing was the same without my daddy by my side. I had even missed the times he used to shout at me because my sugar level was too high (I have type1 diabetes), I missed him and it was the dearest pleasure to see him when I did, wishing that time with him never ended, wishing I could freeze time and spend it with him. My hero.

It was Friday and I had been announced at school that I was a sub leader in cheerleading which made me so very happy. The Principal of my school then let me phone my daddy to tell him, so I did. I phoned him, he sounded a bit tired but said he felt better which just made my Friday. In my mind I was so certain that he would come be discharged from hospital and that I would have a weekend back with my Daddy, playing computer games, building big sand castles on the beach, all that jazz. Well what I didn’t know was my weekend wasn’t going to be anything similar.

So Daddy wasn’t coming home but I still kept my head up and positive, weekend went by so fast. It was Sunday, my sister and I for the first time were getting along. It was a hot day, just like most of them on the South Coast of KZN, South Africa. Crystal, clear blue skies, my sister and I were splashing each other, pushing each other into the refreshing cold pool. We were having such a blast, making the most of our Sunday.

Mom had just gotten back from where I had no idea at the moment, she had this serious look on her face which was odd, she was always full of jokes, even when she was upset she never had this look on her face. Her blood definitely had a race to her cheeks, her cheeks were red and eyes were shot out, wide open. She said they called her to the hospital, that they and news for her. She said daddy had a serious disease and needed to go to another hospital fro a certain machine which at the time sounded like an alien space craft called a dialysis. She said daddy didn’t make it in time. I had a confused look on my face and in my head. So she carried on talking, those two words that just sank my heart into my stomach. “He’s gone..” “dead..” she said..

My world had crashed into a million pieces but not all together, I didn’t believe my mom, I didn’t really take in what she had said until it had been a year, then two years and then three, and so on. here I was forcing laughter’s, faking smiles and it got me..he really is gone, he really isn’t coming back. No more funny movies where we laugh from our tummies, no computer games, no amazing sugar-free cake made, ect..

He’s really </3

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