Sometimes in my head at night or during the long hours of the day I think and question in my head…Why did I get diabetes? why do I have to plunge injections in me all day long every day, every month of every year and act every time as if they don’t hurt just so I don’t look weak? why do I have to suffer the loss of loved ones that were so dear and precious to me? why do I have to go through days, months, years not being able to say “Daddy” and maybe only every few months say “Mommy”? Why, why, why all the bad luck?
I always have this line in my head…”Everything happens fro a reason”. I’ve been going through life trying so hard to find that reason. Find that reason to all my questions that expand more and more each solidary day. I would always help people, give them advice, listen to their problems even my friends whom which some were girls about their boy problems and I would also say “everything happens for a reason”. But I never used my own advice or line and just accept that everything does happen for a reason and leave it there. BUT no my mind wanted to know that reason!!!
But then lately I started thinking really heavy about it. About the answers to all these questions. I still have a lot of unanswered questions. A lot of my answers were if that didn’t happen then this wouldn’t be here.
For example the one night I was a bit down and sad, so I decided to go and scroll through Facebook till I found this website, this really cool website. I went on it and registered myself, and went through people and spoke to a few till I came to this specific person that caught my eyes fro what reason I actually have no clue what so ever. So I looked through his profile and he seemed quite the interesting guy. At that moment I was going through such drama with an ex – boyfriend. I decided to ask this guy fro his number, actually think I randomly gave him my number. We started texting each other. I thought he was an okay guy. Didn’t really get to know him, asked him questions but never really read what he was saying, my head was stuck on another stupid ex – boyfriend. But then I deleted that ex out of my life. Then I decided to take a chance, and really get to know this guy by the name of Eben…
I got to know him, his crazy, whacky, blasting, fun, funny, clumsy, ridiculous, handsome, amazing self that now today I am beyond in love with. Today I am his and he is mine. and I’m planning for that never to change. I just fall more and more in love with him every time I see him and every time we spend more and more quality time together.
Why did I go on Facebook that specific night when I was sad? Because everything happens for a reason. Mine was I had a funny feeling that I should just go on Facebook. But in life some answers, or reasons might not come as quickly or suddenly.
It could so unexpected like how I found love with this guy that to this day I still at times when I think am in shock to how unexpected it was to meet him and form a strong bond with him, to fall so deeply in love with him.
Sometimes in life you just need to stand back and breathe. Dream.Live.Love.Dance.Laugh.Smile! 😀
Eben + Amber Rose